Are You Making Your Anxiety Worse?

I’m listening to a book right now called Thriving with Anxiety by David Rosmarin. He has a different take on anxiety that recommends embracing it—not fighting it. Leaning into it and letting it wash over you instead of focusing so hard on getting rid of it. It makes sense. When you attempt to get rid of those spiraling thoughts, they have a tendency to grip that much tighter!

Let’s start by taking a quick look at what anxiety is. First, you’re triggered by a perceived threat or fear. Your body’s fight-or-flight system is activated and your body reacts. Then you interpret the event. Often, your fear of anxiety kicks in at this point, which highlights the panic response even more. Then you start criticizing yourself “Why can’t I just calm down!?” Before you know it, you are in a full-blown anxiety spiral.

Rosmarin’s approach starts with interpretation of that initial trigger response. When your heart starts to race and you get that feeling in the pit of your stomach, accept it as a natural response. Maybe question what is happening that is causing you to feel that way. You can tell yourself it’s natural to feel nervous when ________. Give yourself compassion. Learn to label your anxious thoughts as just that - thoughts, not facts. Let them wash over you, because even though it may feel like it will last forever, the physical sensations will only last a few minutes at most if you don’t enter into the spiral of anxious thoughts.

I think what makes Rosmarin’s approach so interesting is that it allows for you to learn more about yourself. He encourages you to be curious about the causes of your anxiety instead of thinking something is wrong with you for having these natural thoughts. This approach almost seems too simple. And you’re probably saying “Sure, Candice, easier said than done!” But I do believe that the more you research and understand your body’s reactions and ways to adjust your thinking, you can roll with life’s ups and downs more smoothly.

So spend some time thinking (and journaling) about your personal responses to anxiety this week. Do you tend to panic about the panic? Do you spiral and berate yourself for spiraling? Get curious about how you react and what you are telling yourself about anxiety.

Journal Prompts:

What was the most recent situation that triggered my anxiety?

• What thoughts did I have about it?

• What did my body feel like?

How did I respond to my anxiety in that moment?

• Did I try to resist or push it away?

• What might I try instead next time?

What am I afraid will happen if I allow my anxiety to just be?

• What’s the worst-case scenario?

• Is it realistic?

In what ways do I judge myself when I feel anxious?

• Where did I learn that judgment?

• How would I speak to a friend in the same situation?

Affirmations:

I am not broken. I am a human being experiencing anxiety—and I can handle this.

I am learning to listen to my anxiety, not fear it.

I allow space for discomfort without needing to fix it immediately.

My anxiety is a part of me, not the whole of me.

I trust that peace is possible—even when I don’t feel peaceful.

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Save the Date!

I am in the planning stages for our first annual planning retreat - Draft Your Year with Pencil and Purpose! Dates are January 22-25, with a Thursday evening arrival and departure Sunday morning. This will be for members and other guests (known by either me or a member). I'm tentatively planning to include breakfast, lunch and snacks with dinner on your own (as long as the location has options). Cost is to be determined and will depend upon the number of participants. I want to book a house in the fall and will be looking to get confirmations and a deposit by then. Stay tuned!

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Office Hours:  Office Hours for August will be on Monday, August 18. This is for Editor's Circle Coaching Members as well as any Guided Revision Coaching Members who would like to touch base between scheduled coaching appointments. HERE is the link to schedule a 30-minute slot

The Weekly Draft: happens every Sunday evening at 7pm at this link. Come prepared to reflect on the past week and draft the upcoming week. It is meant to be a heads down, co-planning time, with me being available to share strategies and/or answer questions. Join me HERE